Things to do with the Olympic cartoons #1

My friend spotted this and I had to throw it up here.

bx

MACAU

So on Friday night I got a little drunk along with everyone else going the following day to Macau. Macau is a special administrative region of China, just like Hong Kong. Unlike Hong Kong though Macau has a history of Portuguese rule, not British.

To visit Macau you still need a passport and to go through immigration, so it is quite exciting if it's your first trip to the region as you feel like you are going on a mini holiday. It was my third trip to Macau though, and I was feelin a little rough, so had other plans.

I have done the temple and church tourist side of Macau before, but I have never been to a casino. Macau is a gambling mecca, it is bigger than Vegas and more profitable too, so I thought I would check it out with Hannah.

The Casino of choice was the Venetian, over the top does not quite describe the place. Check out the pictures.

There was a canal system through the middle of the shopping area that went on and on and on. It was complete with fake sky, bridges and Italian singing Gondola people who took you for a ride round the giant complex. Downstairs was the gaming hall, if you stood in the middle you could not see where the walls ended of this massive room. I wish I could take pictures but they are quite strict about it. We went for lunch at a buffet place called Bambu, yet again it was very-over the-top with seafood and cheesecake and everything in between.

I set myself a limit of 200 HKD to spend in the Casino itself. I tried the slot machines but failed at that as I could not work out the tactics. Then I tried Roulette which was much more fun! Although I still lost money rather than gained it.

After 100HKD being spent we decided to head to a different part of town, where we accidentally stumbled into a live televised talent show.

This is something so random that it can only happen in Asia and be normal.

After cheering for a while at the talent show we then left and walked to a Casino called Babylon. It was reasonably quiet and I had a little spending money left, so I found the Roulette table and started playing. I soon decided that I should stop playing with small bets and place down a larger amount. I won the bet and doubled my money. I then did the same thing and doubled it again!

By the end of the evening I had won enough money to have paid for my food and expenses in Macau. Plus have 50 HKD (3.5 quid) left to spare.

So I had a great day out for free.

I beat the system baby!

bx

Last Week In Reality

My phone rings and I answer it

"Hello" I say
"Hey Ben, This is Ben J" comes the reply.

Ben J is a new employee, so I remember paying more attention as the call is coming at an unusual time

"Hey what's up"?
"Hey mate, I have been shown around a few different flats looking for a place to stay this year but I have a problem"

At the word problem I remember paying even more attention to the phone call.
"What's the problem"? I say, not knowing what to expect.

"Well I have been shown a flat in Kowloon, but I just found a dead body behind the sofa and don't know what to do".

Then I woke up.

This was a pretty vivid dream and I was telling co-workers about it all morning, till suddenly I recalled the trigger. HK Magazine.

HK Magazine is a weekly published very funny compilation of everything that is to do with Hong Kong. They have a section called "Last week in reality", where they write about the often stranger goings on in Hong Kong over the previous week. This was what I had read before falling asleep.

'16 Saturday

Nude Dip: During a hot, sunny afternoon, a 50 year old mainland woman strips nude and jups into a fountain at the Urban Council Centenary Garden in Tsim Sha Tsui. The police soon arrive to arrest the screaming woman, who says she is upset with her love life and decided to have some fun

20 Wednesday

Room for rent: A real estate agent takes a potential renter on a tour for a room-for-rent, but the tour ends quickly when they discover a decomposing body in the next room. They immediately call the police, the client decides not to rent the room.'

Which explains the dream then!

No other news really, going to Macau which is like Vegas but thousands of time more fun I hear. I have only ever done the daytime tourist thing in Macau so I am looking forward to it. I am leaving on Saturday morning at 10.30 am, and booking a ferry to return home at 4am the following day. Should be fun! And i'm taking 40 new employees across with me!!!

bx

Tourists again

I decided to use up a day from my annual holiday to take a mid week break. I also wanted to see how much I could pack into a day without feeling overly stressed or rushed. I was with a tourist and some friends so it seemed like a good excuse as any.

This is my step by step guide to an action packed but non exhausting tourist day

1. Go to the Tung Chung MTR station at the end of the orange train line
2. Take a cable car to the Ngong Ping Big Buddha
3. Look at Buddha, marvel at it's metallic sheen
4. Walk round Buddha, question if it was worth climbing all the bloody steps to reach it
5. Walk down big Buddha and go across to the Buddhist temple
6. Eat vegetarian food grown by Buddhist hands and cooked by Buddhist cooks in a big Buddhist hall
7. Watch Buddhists chanting and praying in a nearby temple
8. Realize you are all Buddhisted out, leave area by bus and travel to Mui Wo
9. Try not to be sick in bus
10. Arrive at Mui Wo, go in search of famous waterfall, learn how to say 'where is the waterfall?' in Cantonese "Bin Do Ah Bup Bo"
11. Find Waterfall
12. Look at beach on way back to the fantastic pub in Mui Wo, eat pub food and drink beer to shake off the Buddhist vibes from earlier in the day
13. Get ferry from Mui Wo to Central in Hong Kong island
14. Go to Cinema
15. Go home

And here are the pictures

bx

Fire and Steak

I have a friend visiting Hong Kong from Australia. He is Only in Hong Kong for 24 hours so I took him to the local steak place near where I live. The good thing about this place is that it has been around since the 1960s and does the tastiest steak in the world by marinating it first in chinese sauces etc. However, they also set the steak on fire in front of you to crisp it up.



As you can see, my friend gained a tasty steak but nearly lost a couple of eyebrows!

bx

A good office prank

When we have employees in various schools round Hong Kong our office hours are 9am - 6pm. However, when there are school holidays the office working time drops to 9am - 5pm.

Today is the first day back to school after summer holidays, so our work hours have changed. Everyone knew this in the office except Donald, who left at 5pm with such certainty and gusto that we never questioned him leaving an hour early till he was long gone.

We found this quite funny, so I sent him the following text message.

"Hi Don, I am pretty uncomfortable about this but you need to see the boss first thing tomorrow regarding why you feel it is OK to leave the office an hour before everyone else. Please bring your contract to the meeting for clarification. Ben"

Well, 20 minutes later we never got a reply. So we decided to call him in case he was shitting himself, it turns out he had not read the text yet, so the improvised conversation highlights went as follows.

• It is nothing serious Don, the boss is pretty annoyed though that you feel it's ok to leave early
• Yes Don, it was mentioned in a meeting
• You need to bring your contract because it has your weekly hours written on it
• We just need to make sure you are not confused about the situation
  

After this point I could not remain serious anymore and the office pranksters round the phone began to laugh out loud. He then hanged up on me.

Ten minutes later I recieved a text message back.

"Twat".

I smell some revenge coming...

bx

Falling flat

I have had one minor embarrassing moment this week that I have decided to share with you internet people.

In Hong Kong we have an amazingly efficient underground train system called the MTR. Trains usually run every three minutes on the MTR and crowds tend to move easily through the station system. However, there is a peak rush hour period between 6pm and 7pm where you will not find the MTR easy. During this time you will find it difficult, crammed, pushy and sweaty. This week I was on the MTR during just such a period, listening to loud music on my Ipod and trying to pretend that I was anywhere than inches from a sea of smelly armpits and stressed suits shouting on phones.

After trying to get on two previous packed trains I decided to push my way onto the third train that arrived at the station. In Hong Kong the doors slide open and close automatically. The problem with being near these doors in a packed train is that you need to avoid them when they close. If you get caught in these doors then they will open again, causing harried keen to get home passengers to glare at you like you just sat on and killed their cat.

Once the guillotine like doors are closed though you can then stop trying to avoid them and instead lean back against them, relaxed in the knowledge that you did not get chopped in half or delay your fellow passengers by an extra 20 seconds.

What happened though is that I was listening to my loud music, knew the doors had closed behind me but did not consider that someone other than myself may be blocking the doors in a different carriage, causing them to open again. So I leaned backwards into thin air, flapped my hands a bit, then landed on my bum on the station platform.

People stared, I went red.

In other news the third week of orientation has finally concluded for the 56 new members of the team. Last week we had 55 members of the team but I recruited an extra person over the weekend as we had a placement become available at the last minute.

Overall I think the training has gone pretty well. My role was organizing the preparation and first week of orientation. This involves recruiting the employees, supporting them before they arrive, then helping set them up with bank accounts and other such things. The remaining two weeks were specific job related training. For these second two weeks I was thankfully not doing anything other than supporting the secondary school division, so I did not have to think that much about stuff. The girl who was leading the training really had her work cut out though and she did a fantastic job. Her name is Hannah and she was in the same school as Robyn last year. It was nice that at the end of the training the secondary employees thanked her for all the hard work and generally recognized the effort that we have put into their training. This was not something instantly recognized by last years 55 employees.

No other news really. Going to Lamma Island tomorow for food at the Bookworm Cafe and then going to a house party that same evening. Sunday is probably going to a beach day.

bx