William?

I have decided to make a Vodka watermelon.

I thought a vodka watermelon was an urban myth till I started to search online about how to make one. The idea is that you can take the giant green ball, fill it with vodka, eat it, then fall down. If legend is true, through some process that I expect I would know if paid more attention in science the Watermelon also removes the typical taste of the vodka.

My project has started yesterday. I have drilled a hole down the middle and every morning and evening I top it up with drink and it slowly absorbs it. A bit like my father and scotch. I subsequently feel like I am now living with a random person in my flat because...

1. I am providing alcohol, a place to stay and 3 shelves in my fridge to my new guest
2. I am only puting up with the inconvenience of the guest because it will be a good laugh on the weekend

What is frightening though is the raging alcoholism of my friend. So far it has drunk 3/4 of a bottle of vodka and does not seem to plan on stopping! I am aiming for two litres.

The question is, what should I call this melon? When friends look back on what I have already prenamed "The Watermelon Incident" I feel that the watermelon should be named. Mainly this is because I think naming the melon will divert blame. Stories will go something like "Do you remember when William The watermelon got (???) so drunk that she (???) on (???)..." Which is far better than "Do you remember when Ben thought it would be a good idea if..."

Name suggestions welcome.

bx