Ben in Hong Kong©

Monday, July 14, 2008

Fishing and poo

I have been neglecting the blog recently and I am not totally sure why. My lack of blog writing has developed at the same time that I have stopped checking my emails, completing my tax forms, paying my electricity bills, fixing my fridge and signing my new tenancy agreement. I think this is all related somehow.

But except for the broken fridge I have now done all the above tasks, and then this afternoon I fell in poo. So I now have something to write about.

After a little bit of negotiation with the landlord I decided last weekend to stay in my current flat for another year. I had to sign my new tenancy agreement this afternoon and whilst doing so I also had to pay half the stamp duty for the flat (about 200 HKD).

This is how I found myself removing my bank card from my wallet whilst crossing the road towards the ATM machine. Then it slipped out of my hand, then I caught it, then I lost it, then I caught it. Then...

It fell down the drain.

I took the picture with my phone mainly because I could not believe it actually happened, but I also had a plan. I ran upstairs, got an old padlock, some broken headphone cable and then went to the shop to buy some superglue. I then fashioned a fishing rod using the padlock, cable and glue. I crouched over the drain and started to fish, but the cable was not big enough so I had to go back upstairs to get string.

When I resumed fishing I was amongst rush hour commuters on my knees in the street. I got a few strange looks but mostly people just swarmed round me because I was crouched in the middle of a pedestrian crossing and they wanted to get home. I nearly got the bank card at one stage when my phone started ringing. I thought it was the landlord so I answered it, but it was randomly someone I met in New York at a party where I was introduced to laughing Yoga. I don't recall who this person is, or how they got my number, but they are in Hong Kong and now invited to come drinking this weekend, which could well be another random story for the blog.

So I started fishing again and eventually got the bank card stuck to the padlock covered in glue. I raised it up to the top of the drain and went to hook it out when I got bumped by a rush hour commuter, lost my balance and placed my hand in a pile of dog shit. This did not deter me though! I still got the card out with my poo covered hand and then rushed upstairs to my flat to wash it multiple times.

And what lesson has been learnt from this story???

Never use glue to hook out your bank card because the glue destroys the magnetic strip and screws the thing up anyway.



bensdadsoot said...

was it not possible to lift the drain cover?

Ben said...

no, it was totally stuck.

robynandben said...

The instant thought process of padlock - headphone cable - superglue would ONLY come from you.

hannah said...

I love it love it love it! Was it human poo? x

samanddave said...

Dog poo in Hong Kong? I don't believe it! Sure you hadn't reached through to Blighty? As for the whole padlock - string - headphone - super glue process, did you not think phone - bank - new card?????

Ben said...

Hannah: No it was not human poo, although I guess I have no way of knowing.

Robyn: It worked so my thought process is strange but workable

Robs Dad: Hong Kong bank system is such that to lose a card means you wait sometimes 2 months for a replacement. It's annoyingly the one thing that is not fast and brilliant out here.

robynandben said...

Hannah, you're weird - why would you assume it was human?!

Ben, it didn't WORK work though did it?

Ben said...

Robyn: Good point

Robyn: You seem to forget that friends have witnessed an old lady pull down her pants and poo in the middle of the streets on Lockhart road...

robynandben said...

I didn't actually know that...and I liked it that way.